


Innocence (burned to ashes)

by Anonymous



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Canon-Typical Violence, Emotional Hurt, Gen, Hurt, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Light Angst, Little comfort, Omega Zuko, Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, Zuko (Avatar) Needs a Hug, Zuko (Avatar)-centric, story told in snapshots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:54:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25018849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Overshadowed by his sister and rejected by his father, Zuko learns the hard way that life is by no means fair. He pushes onwards and tries to hold his head high despite that.Snippets of Zuko's life.
Relationships: Azula & Zuko (Avatar), Iroh & Zuko (Avatar), Ozai & Zuko (Avatar), Ursa & Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 21
Kudos: 172
Collections: Anonymous





	Innocence (burned to ashes)

Zuko is six and Ozai knows that his failure of a son is an omega. The boy is yet to present but every sign on earth and sky points at that. The boy is too soft, too bright-eyed, too- too sweet. Ozai feels disgusted as he looks at the small runt feeding the turtle ducks. To think that he produced such a weak offspring makes something ugly and shameful turn in his gut. So he turns his gaze towards the fiery Azula and feels pride burn bright in his chest when his little girl snarls or bares her baby teeth during playfights. He watches with keen eyes and rumbles appreciatively whenever her fierce temper flares up. At least one of his children is fit to be of his line. He just wishes that it was Azula who was born first or that his wife was not such a stubborn omega.

During one particularly sunny day, when Agni’s warmth lures every firebender out to soak in his blessed glow, he strolls outside just in time to see his small girl tackle Zuko to the ground, scratching and shrieking in glee as the boy struggles underneath her, he puts up his arms to cover his face and Azula takes full advantage of the offered flesh. Ozai is torn between pride at the prowess of his little daughter and irritation, that the runt is yielding to a much smaller girl.

He sends a quick prayer to Agni, thanking him that he bestowed Azula not only with the spark of firebending but also an alpha nature that shines as brightly, like the sun. Zuko cries out, tries to stop his little sister but to no avail. Ozai sees the servants, that ran towards them, fret whether or not should they intervene. They hover above but upon seeing Ozai, watching from the sidelines, they step away. The Fire Lord nods approvingly, sends one last appreciative glance towards Azula laughing in victory, while she is relentlessly tousling Zuko’s hair and moves on with his stroll.

///

Zuko is six and Ursa knows that her baby boy will face even more hardships. She looks at the chubby cheeks and big eyes and feels her heart tremble with fear. She scoops her son to her chest and purrs, a deep rumble coming from the very core of her being, as she warms the nest he snuck into, trying to get away from scornful gazes of his teachers and father. She can see scratch marks on his pale arms and she knows that they came from rough-housing with his sister. She smooths down his hair, tangled, and sticking in every direction. Zuko wriggles away from her hands, grabs, and rearranges some pillows before taking one and snuggling into it while he presses himself into Ursa’s waiting arms.

She starts petting his head once again and combs her fingers through the mess, untangling it. There is a small purr coming from her son, not yet rumbling but still a steady and strong noise that matches his breath, as he leans into her touch. She can feel his small body vibrate with the sound and she purrs along. The Fire Lady bends down and presses a kiss to the mass of silky hair.

Ursa just _knows_ that her baby boy will present as an omega. It does not stop her from praying to Agni, that he will present as beta. Day after day, she sends prayers that he will not disappoint his father anymore and will be spared additional cruelty. It is unbecoming from a firstborn, from a firstborn _son_ , to be an omega. The sweet undertones of his scent make her prayers more and more desperate.

///

When Zuko loses his baby teeth and the ones that grow in their stead are blunt, Ursa feels her heart break. Not a single soul is celebrating her baby’s first signs of presentation. She smiles warmly at the cook and maiden who sneak sweets into her child’s room. They avert their gazes and she follows suit, warmth spreading through her body, that at least in some ways, however small, the boy is cared for.

She sends a letter to Iroh, but the man is too busy to come right away. The war is taking up more and more of his time and Ursa understands that. She wishes things were different.

///

Ozai refuses to look at his child with gaps in between his teeth, with no sight of sharp ones poking in between. He wonders if it is too late to discard the runt especially when he still does not produces any flames, even after the gaps that make the runt lisp pitifully are becoming steadily filled with the shamefully blunt teeth of an omega. A small voice, suspiciously resembling Ursa’s, murmurs to him that there are still chances, that he will turn out to be a beta. One glance at the soft and awkward dispositions snuffs out that blasted murmur. Ozai turns a blind eye at the increasingly aggressive training sessions the boy’s teacher is pushing him through. If nothing else, the runt will maybe gain some spine.

Not even a spark flies out from the runt’s palms or legs – the teacher dutifully reports, bowing and looking at Ozai’s feet. The fire surrounding the man rises along with the growl.

“You have my approval to try every single technique of teaching, master Deng.” Ozai dismisses the man even before he finishes promising to do absolutely anything. 

A few days later Ursa hisses in his face, that their son is being abused, her scent grows acrid and there is a fire in her eyes. Ozai does not budge under the fury of an omega mother. The boy still does not show any progress, comes the report from his teacher.

///

Azula loses her tooth during a playfight with her brother and immediately presents the bloody gap to her father. It does not take long to see the sharp fang of an alpha breaking through her gums. Ozai makes the cook prepare a celebratory meal.

Two teeth later, she produces her first blast of fire during practice with her master and Ozai feels pride lick at his insides like a wildfire. Another celebratory dinner is held, filled with praises and boasting, and Azula’s shrill laugher as she punches air time and time again, sending blasts of fire with each thrust.

Zuko takes the first opportunity to slink off and hide in his mother’s nesting room. No-one even tries to stop him.

The next day Uncle Iroh and Lu Ten take him to the beach, while the celebrations still fill the palace with pride and awe. Zuko wants to stay on that beach forever.

///

Zuko is eight and something primal in his head trembles at the sight of his father, he is training firebender stances but stumbles through the majority of them under the scathing gaze of the royal alpha. His teacher barks at him to keep his fists higher, to block his hip, to keep his guard up, to bend lower. Nothing Zuko does is good enough and the more he tries to better his stance the more he fumbles. The air around him is steadily filled with the harsh smell of angry alphas. Zuko is surprised he can’t see any smoke even though its smell is irritating his nose.

“Elbows closer to your body, legs wider, feet planted firmly on the ground!” Comes another barrage of corrections and it takes everything Zuko has not to break his stance and bow down in surrender. His tight still stings from when the man roughly corrected his stance with red hot hands.

He glances at his father and can see the sliver of teeth showing through the snarl, twisting the man’s lips. A cold shiver runs down Zuko’s spine despite him being covered in sweat and panting from exertion.

He goes through another form but his breath stutters in his throat and he stumbles yet again, losing his balance. The teacher takes a deep, loud breath to rein in his frustration and this time there are wisps of smoke escaping his mouth with an exhale. The young prince stills in anticipation of punishment. Ozai looks at Zuko as if he was a dead, already half rotten elephant rat. The boy desperately wants to run away and hide in his mother’s nest.

“I’m sorry, father” he bows instead but it is a wrong move. His father sneers down at him and looks at Zuko’s teacher.

“I said to do whatever you seem fit, to train him.” Ozai’s voice is lined with a menacing rumble that makes Zuko flinch and his teacher to straighten up and cast his eyes downwards.

“Understood, my Lord” The man bows and stays with his neck craned downwards until Ozai turns around and starts heading back to the palace. Zuko feels bile rising to his throat when the teacher finally looks back at him with something vicious and detached gleaming in his eyes. The man stares Zuko down for several moments before he warms his hand up so much the palm starts glowing red.

“Start again,” he says and walks up to Zuko.

The maid that comes to his room with a fresh set of clothes, still warm from being dried and faintly smelling of smoke – not a bushfire smoke like his teacher, but something more gentle, like a fireplace – sneaks him some sweet mochi. Zuko thanks her and offers one of them but the maid declines with a soft smile, before she bows and leaves his room. Zuko chews the soft snacks and feels marginally better, he changes his clothes and joins his sister and her friends in the gardens.

Azula almost burns his brows off while showing off in front of Mai and Ty Lee and then proceeds to blame him for not dodging it. Somehow it turns out into another playfight and Zuko starts doubting how much of a “play” there is to their scuffles.

Thankfully, Ty Lee has absolutely no problem with throwing him into the pond to put out smoking clothes. The turtle ducks take offense in the sudden dive, though.

His father smells like a burning village when Azula boasts at beating him again and laughs at his supposedly stupid expression at being chucked into the pond. Zuko wonders if alphas are even capable of smelling nice. He soldiers on during the rest of the day, but when he is sure that Azula is asleep he flees to the safety of his mother's nest.

“Oh, sunshine.” His mother opens her arms and lifts her blankets to let Zuko slip under them. The comforting warmth of the bed and the flowery smell of his mother soothe the part of him that makes him want to crawl out of his skin and hide somewhere where nobody will find him, somewhere _safe_.

Zuko’s breath comes out in hiccups as he snuggles up to his mother, who kisses his forehead and gently hugs his frame. The starry part of the night sky, that is visible through her window makes the yearning to flee unfurl in Zuko’s chest and flutter. He closes his eyes and presses his face into the crook of his mother's neck. She makes soft shushing noises into his hair and Zuko lets himself be cradled as if he was something precious. The irritated skin on his thigh and upper arms sting unpleasantly.

///

A week after that, he breaks out in a long keening whine when Azula roars at him, mimicking their father. Ozai burns his shoulder while shaking him to shut up and man up, while Ursa decides it is a high time to start teaching him how to smother his inner instincts.

Zuko has plenty of practice as he feels like every alpha that he comes into a contact with is hostile. He learns to keep his spine straight in the face of a snarling alpha a week before he finally produces a weak fire. He squares his shoulders and bites back on a whine when his teacher scoffs and his father is nowhere to be seen. Azula is howling with laugher somewhere in the background. Zuko is proud of himself that he just keeps on going instead of running away. At least Ty Lee is clapping encouragingly and Mai’s mouth twitches up at him when the boy locks his gaze with the stoic girl.

The small flames that puff out with his punches and kicks make him both proud and ashamed. He is not sure which emotion he should settle on until he goes to school and his peers openly laugh at his weak flames and wobbly stances.

It does not take long for Ozai to pull him out of school in an attempt to minimize the shame Zuko brings him. The boy is not sure if the aggressive alpha of a teacher is better than a cackling group of children.

He bites down on whimpers so long his belly starts aching and his throat feels constricted.

///

Uncle somehow hears about his progress and sends him a present along with a letter promising him, that they will see each other soon. The present turns out to be a warm and extremely fluffy blanket. Zuko buries his face into the soft fuzz and rubs his cheek against it, there is a happy rumble bubbling in his chest that almost smothers the vicious little whisper at the back of his head, that the soft blanket as a present instead of something more becoming of a prince is a sign of mockery.

The uncomfortable feeling, that took residence in his belly, flutters nervously.

That night, Zuko tries for the first time to make a nest on his bed, but he soon finds it lacking in the pillow department. In the dead of the night, he runs to his mother’s room and asks for more pillows. Ursa kisses his forehead, smooths his hair and gives him the softest ones.

“My sweet sunshine is growing up.” She smiles at his retreating back and Zuko turns away from the door to leap into her arms. The flowery scent of his mother makes his shoulders relax, but there is a tang of something bitter hiding under the sweetness. Zuko is too afraid to ask why is that so he kisses her cheek and murmurs into her neck that he loves her very, very much. The bitter smell grows a tad bit stronger.

That night, Zuko sleeps wrapped in the fluffy blanket smelling of newness and is surrounded by pillows smelling like his mother. His breath comes out with a soft rumble, as the purr builds up in his chest.

///

Uncle Iroh and Lu Ten take him to a meadow where his cousin lets Zuko chase him up and down its gentle slope, uncle sits under a tree, drinks tea and shouts encouragements, or chuckles into his cup when his boys do something exceptionally amusing.

When Lu Ten grabs Zuko under his armpits and gently throws him into the air, the boy wheezes with laugher. His cousin smells like sandalwood and sun-baked sand and there is not a hint of bitter or acrid smoke, he loves that scent.

Zuko squirms away from Lu Ten's grasp and dashes off “Catch me!” he screams and promptly trips over his own feet. He has a half of mind expecting Lu Ten to burst out with mocking laughter but, instead, a heavy weight gently crashes over him, strong arms lock around his middle and the world starts spinning. They tumble down the gentle hill and Zuko’s nose is filled with the scent of grass, sandalwood, and warmth.

“Caught you!” Lu Ten rumbles when they come to a stop, but the sound is nothing like the rumble of any alpha he usually has to hear. It does not make him want to cower, instead, Zuko bumps his head on Lu Ten chin and that prompts another warm rumble to come out. Zuko can feel his chest vibrate with it but instead of making him nervous, the thick honey-sweet sound gives him comfort.

They come back to Iroh and have some tea. The general produces a tin of cookies from the basket they brought with them and watches as his two boys munch on the sweets. He rumbles, a rich sound that comes deep within his chest, and Zuko, yet again, does not flinch. This sound is safe — supplement his instincts and Zuko happily listens to them.

He feels at peace.

///

Two months later the siege of Ba Sing Se starts.

Six hundred days later comes the letter informing of the withdrawal of the Fire Nation Army and the death of Lu Ten.

Uncle Iroh disappears from the face of the earth.

Ursa follows suit not long after.

///

Suddenly, Zuko is all alone and surrounded by hostile alphas and indifferent betas. Never before had it been so hard for him to choke down on scared whimpers bubbling in his throat.

More often than not, Zuko spends nights in his mother’s nesting room. Somehow it stays open when the bedtime approaches, despite Lord Ozai ordering it to be closed at all times. Zuko sneaks in and out like a shadow, eternally grateful for equally invisible servants. He burrows in the pillows that still carry his mother scent and bites back on whimpers. The voice in his head, belittling him for being weak sounds like his father’s.

There is no one to kiss away hurts and mild burns, anymore. The servants look at him with pity in their eyes and try to sweeten his miserable life with smuggled sweets. Zuko wants to hug them, but they always scuttle away even before he stretches his arms towards them.

The hunger for affection cannot be satiated with sweets only.

There is no one to hold him when constant belittling threatens to crush him.

There is no one to reign in Azula’s fiery temper.

The pillows in Ursa’s nesting room start to smell less and less like her.’

Zuko stops visiting the room.

///

Uncle Iroh comes back, but he is a different man. His scent is no longer honey, smoke, and burning campfire. It is bitter and heavy with a suspicious linger of jasmine that confuses the hell out of Zuko. His shoulders slope down and there is no more fire in his eyes. He is calm but also dejected.

Zuko tries to cheer up the man, he tries to spend as much time with him as possible but the vacant look in his uncle's eyes scares him to death. Whenever he has time he offers his uncle a game of Pai Sho or just chatters away until a ghost of a smile finally appears on his face.

He even starts reading him his favorite plays out loud, implementing into it all his acting skills (he _knows_ he is not very good but if the plays fail to interest his uncle, maybe his atrocious acting will prompt a chuckle or two). Whenever he acts out the plays a heaviness settles over his heart and countless memories of him and his mother doing exactly the same thing flood Zuko and more than once choke him up.

When Azula mock both him and Uncle Iroh for being weak, Zuko, for the first time in years, starts a fight on his own.

He loses and ends up with an embarrassing amount of new bruises but Azula at last leaves them alone.

When he reenacts _Love Amongst the Dragons_ , his uncle is kind enough not to point out how much his voice was cracking or how often he had to stop to take a deep, calming breath. Instead, he smiles warmly at his nephew and offers to go on a picnic.

Zuko counts it as a win and seeing that they are making progress, he doubles his attempts at helping his uncle grieve with the stubbornness more suiting an earthbender.

Ignoring scathing looks from his father and the open mockery of his sister became easier at some point and he doesn’t even know when that happened.

When a spark of life comes back to his uncle’s eyes and his scent loses the bitter tones Zuko feels prouder than when he mastered his Dao blades.

Life is slowly going back to normal.

///

“You can’t do this!”

Zuko acts before he thinks. He cuts off the old general’s explanation of the horrible plan and does not as much as blink when the old gasbag snarls at him, the anger helps him keep his spine straight and his shoulders square. Zuko even shows his own teeth in return, his inner fire boils his blood. Years of dealing with hostile alphas forged his soul and killed his immediate instincts to back down.

There are only two people whose snarls can bend his neck.

Fire Lord Ozai growl freezes his blood. The fire around the room rises with the noise.

Zuko accepts the challenge to the Agni Kai even when there is a block of ice freezing his insides.

He can take on an old general.

When he sees his father, his knees hit the marbled floor even before his mind has the time to properly process what is happening.

“Please father! I am your loyal son!” He cannon keep the high pitch of a whine from his voice. He wishes it was the rumble of an alpha hidden behind his pleas.

Zuko disrespects his father and ends up with half of his face burned away and the whole of his heart crushed.

“A pathetic omega has no right to disrespect an alpha. You are a disgrace of a son.” His father cradles half of his face in his big and calloused hand in a mockery of affection before he lights it on fire.

Zuko can smell the burning flesh. It is slowly covering the acrid stench of his father’s anger. The pain is making his vision swim and he screams. Oh Agni, he screams louder than he thought was possible. His voice soon loses any traces of humanity and turns into a howl, but his father does not stop.

His hand is the only thing keeping Zuko up and when Ozai finally lets go of him, Zuko crumbles to the ground.

His wail is still ringing in the dead silence that befell the room.

Zuko keens, his voice already rough, but that makes Ozai sneer down at him.

“Pathetic omega” he spats as he turns away and walks down from the platform. He does not spare even a single glace to check if the medics are rushing towards the burned prince.

///

Zuko does not remember much, the pain, the fever, and the infection all make the time between the Agni Kai and his final departure from the docks of Caldera a confusing blur.

He floats through drugged up sleep and is dimly aware of the pain hiding under the cottony fuzz of painkillers that are dulling his senses. Somewhere between sleep and lucidity, he is informed that Fire Lord Ozai banished him. Zuko wants to believe that it was a part of some twisted dream.

He fully comes back to lucidness on an old, retired warship.

The ridiculous amount of pillows that smell like his uncle makes him laugh. He chokes on his own tears. His sobs quickly grow louder and louder and it hurts, and Zuko cannot stop. His breath stutters in his chest.

Uncle Iroh is next to him in an instant and hugs his keening nephew to his chest. He rumbles in an attempt at soothing Zuko but the boy flinches at the sound of it. Iroh takes a sharp breath and stops his rumbling in an instant. The bitter tang comes back into his uncle’s scent and that makes Zuko cry even harder and Iroh opts on tracing soothing circles on his nephew’s back. His hand is warm and big and Zuko tries very hard not to think about his father’s hands.

He can still smell the scent of burning flesh. He can still feel the pain.

///

He lays in bed, still too weak to move much, and tries not to snap at or shy away from the healer that is treating his wound. The man is probably the most patient beta Zuko has ever seen. His hands are steady and his voice is low and surprisingly soothing when he narrates every single thing he does while taking care of Zuko’s burned face.

“You are healing quite well, Prince Zuko, all things considered.” The man smiles after he finishes inspecting his eye and it dawns on Zuko that there is something wrong with his hearing.

“My ear-“ He starts weakly and from the sad face of healer Chen is enough if an answer to his half-baked question. Uncle Iroh who has been watching from the side moves towards them.

“The ear was badly burnt and some hearing loss is to be expected” the man supplies and Zuko feels like he is floating. He already has impaired sight in his eye, what else is going to be taken away from him?

Uncle Iroh puts a comforting hand on his shoulder and its weight anchors Zuko. After a beat of silence, Chen puts the cooling salve onto Zuko’s face and wraps it in bandages.

“Uncle, when can we start training?” Zuko asks the moment the healer exits his room. Iroh looks at him surprised and furrows his brows.

“For now, rest is what you need, Prince Zuko.” The boy does not want to hear this.

“My vision is impaired, my hearing is as well, I have to quickly learn how to compensate for them in a fight. There is no time for rest, uncle.” The heavy exhale reminds Zuko of his previous teachers and he can’t quite quell a shudder that runs down his spine.

“We will see, Prince Zuko, but for now – rest _, please._ ” Uncle’s hand is still comfortingly warm on Zuko’s shoulder. He waits for a second more for it to heat up but nothing happens. Zuko begrudgingly burrows himself deeper into the soft fuzzy blanket.

///

Zuko flinches away from fire, from any sudden movement and he screams himself hoarse during night terrors.

Uncle Iroh scent becomes lined with bitterness as if it was always there.

Zuko hates it to the point he starts avoiding the old man and Iroh lets him. The boy is not sure if he is happy or hurt by that.

He still finds comfort in the pillows that smell like jasmine tea and campfire, that make up his scarce nest on the ship.

The nest does not shield him from nightmares, though.

He distracts himself by trying to gain the respect of his crew. The men are mostly beta but Zuko is sure they view him as a spoiled brat. He does not remember a time he was shouting so much but at least it makes his crew _listen_.

None of them openly tries to maim him, not even the few alphas that are on the ship, even during the worst of days and Zuko cannot stop waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

At some point, uncle Iroh developed a new habit of making jasmine tea for everyone and he seems to have a knack of brewing it just in time for de-escalating any fiery arguments on the ship. He also started buying more and more pillows and blankets that he just happens to leave in Zuko’s room. They always smell like burning wood and jasmine tea and the banished prince can’t help to arrange them in his nest.

The nightmares still wake him up every single night and he still shies away from any touch offered by Iroh.

_Pathetic omega._

_The disgrace of a son._

_Weak runt._

Zuko can’t stop the poisonous whispers ricocheting in his mind whenever he sees the open arms of his uncle. He should not crave comfort. He should be stronger than that. Azula never clung to anybody and she was still living with their father.

Iroh always sits next to him until Zuko drifts off to sleep once again. Sometimes they sit in silence until dawn. The old alpha never shows any sign of irritation and Zuko has no idea what to do with this.

His crew, on the other hand, does not try to hide how cranky they are in the mornings after, particularly violent nights. Zuko tries not to wonder how well his crew can hear his whimpering. He just glares and snarls at the men to mind their business.

He is just so, so tired.

He still refuses to hug Iroh no matter how welcoming his arms look like.

///

On one of the nights filled with trashing and whimpering, something snaps in the old general. Iroh comes running to his room and finally hugs Zuko like the boy is his lifeline. It takes him by surprise. Zuko’s body tenses used to alphas lunging at him with the intent to hurt but the older man sags against him, hides his face in the crook of Zuko’s neck and trembles.

“I’m so sorry Prince Zuko, so, so sorry.” Zuko cannot make out why his uncle is sorry. It was Zuko who was acting like a weak omega (again) and probably woke up half of the crew (he tries to ignore that fact). It takes an embarrassingly long moment to hug his uncle back but Zuko finally manages to wrap his lead-heavy arms around the one family member that is yet to actively try and hurt him.

Uncle’s warmth makes Zuko realize for how long he had been longing for somebody to hold him and he is shocked how long he managed to fight this feeling. Now, he is too tired to fight any longer. He sinks into the safety of his uncle's hug. 

However, there is still something missing. He remembers how soothing his mother purring was, whenever he came to her for comfort.

Zuko discovers with horror that he no longer knows how to purr.

**Author's Note:**

> Just some snippets to get the idea off my chest. Not the best piece of writing that I produced but sometimes you just gotta click away on the keyboard and not worry too much about how good it is. Am I right?


End file.
